Sunday, February 20, 2011

The Blind Date

The following story is why I am very wary on being set up with gentlemen by my friends, and have sworn off blind dates entirely.

01/2011: The Blind Date

My friend Charlotte* had been out at a bar in her neck of the woods, while I was enjoying a quiet night in with the pups. After my lazy evening, I headed to bed. At around 1:15am, my phone started beeping at me. I groggilly reached over to see what all the racket was about. I opened my new text inbox to see two new messages from Charlotte. She had found me a man.

"I've got the perfect guy for you. I'm setting you up on a blind date." The first message read. I blinked a few times trying to make sure I read it right. Before I had time to really gather what was going on, two more messages came. First was a picture of this mystery man. Second, a description: "His name is Ryan*, he's an environmental consultant, and he thinks you're really pretty." Granted, it was dark and my eyes hadn't adjusted to the brightness of the phone, but all I could really get from the photo was a bunch of lasers, and a silhouette of a man. I was somehow able to gather all my energy to text back an "ok," and drifted back to sleep.

I texted Charlotte the next day about how this was all going to go down, if she even remembered. Did she give him my number? What was going on? I didn't hear back from her regarding it, so I figured she just got tipsy and didn't remember trying to set me up with a random stranger in a bar.

Flash forward almost three weeks. I'm sitting at my desk at work, trying not to rip my hair out (it was a particularly stressful week) when I get a text from an unknown number. "Hey, this is Ryan. I think your friend is trying to set us up." I read it, and went back to work, since I had a lot of stuff to do. He texted again. "How are you?" Again, I read it, and resumed working. About five minutes later, I got another text. This one from Charlotte asking me why I hadn't texted him back. I finally gave in and texted Ryan back, and we did so sporadically for the rest of the afternoon. A couple days later, the very sporadic texting resumed. He claimed to be a very busy guy, hence why it was like pulling teeth just trying to have a conversation with him via text. I said that was fine, and if he was interested in getting together to let me know.

Another couple weeks go by, and it was a Friday night. Ryan texted me, asking if I would like to do something that weekend. I let him know I happened to be free and that would be great. He started to make it sound like he may want to get together that evening, before he disappeared and didn't respond to one of my responding texts. The next evening, we decided to get drinks. He asked where I would like to go. I really don't know too many places, since I haven't really gone bar hopping or anything, so I brought up the two places I do know and usually have a good time at: Rock Bottom and Thirsty Lion. Ryan didn't like either of these. In fact, he didn't like going downtown. I could respect that, since I know that's not really everyones scene. He mentioned he was going to be having dinner with friends at this little place in North East, and we could meet there. "Sure, if you don't mind me crashing your party, haha" I responded.

A half hour went by. No response. "So...when should I head out? haha" I texted him. After about another half hour, I started to wonder if I misunderstood him, and he wanted me to head out earlier. I decided to get in my car and head that direction. As I got on the freeway, he finally responed:

"Whats so funny?"

I don't know about all of you, but sometimes I add the proverbial "haha" at the end of my texts, to let them know that whatever I'm saying is being said in a friendly / semi joking manner. Apparently, Ryan didn't believe in that. I let him know I was just slightly confused on when to head out, but that I was on the road to meet him. He then said his friends had changed their mind and they were going to go have Thai food for dinner instead. He asked if it would be ok to meet at the Doug Fir afterwards. I said that'd be fine, and to let me know when he was there and I would head over. He then asked if I could tell him what I looked like, so he would know who he would be looking for (ironically enough, he added a "haha" at the end of that text.) I told him what I was wearing, and sent him one of my pics.

I drove around for a bit longer, just enjoying the drive, then wound up heading to my friend Lindsay's* place for a bit. She lives right near downtown, so I figured it would work perfectly. I could hang out with her and have a drink at her place, and then once I would get the text from Ryan, I would head to the Doug Fir. I got to Laura's around 9:30ish. I left her place just before midnight.

I never heard from Ryan.

I literally almost couldn't stop laughing. I had been blown off by a blind date. I texted Charlotte the next day to let her know of her poor match-making skills. I don't know of she ever texted him to find out what the hell happened. I just deleted his number from my phone and went on like nothing ever happened. Because...well...nothing ever did. At least I had a good time at Lindsay's watching an American Iron Chef marathon (the original is WAY better of course) and setting up her microwave my friends and I got her for Christmas :-)

*names have been changed to protect identities

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