Another lyrical masterpiece brought to you by J-Rock. This one is more just an imaginary tale...but I can see aspects of pretty much all my bad dates in a lot of the examples given.
Dates From the Darkside
I've gone on dates, and boy they suck.
These boys I date, I have no luck.
So here we go, lets check the list,
Of mostly boys, I would not kiss...
The Rapper / Marky Mark
You can shine my car, you can shine my bling.
Wax my chest, it ain't no thang.
Why you trippin, just buy me lunch!
I'm white and fly, from the funky bunch!
The Granola Crunchin Hippie Tree Hugger
I love the birds, I love the trees.
Give me patchouli, and my guitar please.
Why do we fight, this war should cease,
Make love not war, all hippies want peace!
The Preppy Metrosexual
My brows are plucked, my hair is rad.
Oily skin, just makes me mad.
Seacrest out, is what I say,
My clothes are pressed, do I sound gay?
The Gothic Vampire
My clothes are black, my skin is white.
I'll drink your blood, I love the night.
I keep a bat, as my pet,
So back off bitch, I'll bite your neck!
Revenge of the Nerds, is my movie of choice,
I snort when I laugh, I have a wheeze in my voice.
Where's my inhaler, I'm no good in the sack,
I'm just a wussy, no bone in my back!
I live in a cellar, it's my humble abode.
My friends name is Chunk, I like Rocky Road.
I smell and I'm ugly, I'm telling the truth.
By the way woman, I eat Baby Ruth!
I'll stare at you weird, I'll cause you such fright,
All through the date, and through the night.
I'll give you the willies, I'll drive you so mad,
When this date is over, I'm sure you'll glad!
So here I wait, for Mr. Right.
Where is he at, he"s not in sight.
It's all good, I know he's there.
I'm sure he's waiting, for me somewhere....